I mentioned in a few posts earlier that a lot has changed in the Heitman household!
WE....ARE...EXPECTING...A...BABY...
...EEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!
Let me go back a bit and explain some things...
...this is going to be a raw, honest post so bear with me, and please no judging!
When Cash was a year old we decided we would like 3 kids so we got busy and tried....
....for 3 years!
It just wasn't happening!
We talked to our doctor and she suggested further testing for Travis and myself.
After having a few discussions Travis and I decided we would not go further with the testing.
We had 2 healthy, happy boys!
We decided that this was it!
Our family...
...Dad, mom, Pierce & Cash!
I was content with this and sold everything...
...and the last time we saw my OB in June we walked out with vasectomy pamphlets!
{That appointment obviously never got made;)}
****************************************
Fast forward to November 8th, 2015...
I had just gotten home from a girls weekend in Des Moines...a girls trip that involved alcohol!
Travis and Pierce were farming and Cash and I were home!
I had been suffering from severe heartburn and just didn't feel right!
After looking at my full supply of tampons I realized I really didn't have a period in October...woops!
Cash and I headed out to the local Dollar General for a pregnancy test!
I rushed home, my hands were shaking, I was sweating.. but I took the test.
POSITIVE right away!
HOLY SHIT BALLS......
Panic set in...
Fear set in...
Doubt set in...
I had to sit down on the floor...
Cash was banging on the door...
So back to Dollar General we went for a second test because the first one COULDN'T be right...
POSITIVE again...
I was a hot mess...
...we were done having kids
...this wasn't the plan
...holy crap I'm going to be responsible for another human being
...there goes my social life... (selfish, yes...but these were my immediate thoughts!)
I called Travis right away...
...he was over the moon excited and quickly calmed me down!
Thank God!!
I called the doctor the next day and calculated my due date...
...to my surprise I was already 8 weeks!
They wanted to see us two days later!
We told our family and friends and the boys!
Everyone was shocked...everyone!
The boys were happy and shared the news with the whole town!!
It took me a while to wrap my head around all this!
I'm 13 weeks today and I'm still scared to death...but happy as ever, all at the same time!
My biggest fear is our boys are 26 months apart and they are close, they have a bond!
This baby will be almost 8 years younger then Pierce and 5.5 years younger then Cash!
I'm worried about the bond he/she will have with Pierce and Cash.
I'm also worried about me being older this time around...5 years older!!
Do I feel terrible when I have doubts? YES!!
Do I fear a miscarriage from all my negative thoughts? EVERY.DAY!
Do I want this baby? WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BODY!
Has it taken me 6 weeks to come to terms with this? YES, but that's okay!
I have a lot of faith and I know this blessing has way more meaning then I'll ever know!
What's that saying, "You make a plan and God laughs!"
Yep, pretty much!!
I know God will be with us every step of the way...
...and because of that I am fearless!
Bring on baby number 3 in June 2016!
Now, everyone please say a little prayer that all-day sickness goes away real soon!
Say a prayer that I stop gagging at the stupidest things...my toothbrush for instance!
Also, please say a prayer that all daycare kids save their poopy diapers for their parents so I can stop gagging over those;)
And, for the love of God, say a prayer that my beloved Diet Pepsi stops making me sick so I can start drinking it again!!
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